Hi, meet me again. Well I’m not in mood now. Currently, I’m listening to Nightingale – Demi Lovato.
This time, I want to tell you about something that probably will I hate, and also I won’t forget it. My young life. Yes, it’s my school life.
I’m in high school now. It’s SMAN 3 Bandung. Such an old school. It’s located on Jl. Belitung No. 8, right beside SMAN 5 Bandung. They just separated by a corridor. The first thing landed on my mind when the first time I came here is, ‘can I survive?’. Confused? Yes, me too.
I didn’t even know why I thought that. I never knew where that statement came from. I didn’t even know what does that mean. Until a day, yes, a day.
The first week, filled with a lot of activities. One of them is called ‘MOPD’ or, you can say, ‘MOS’. I thought, that would be a very exhausting time, by looking at my other junior high friends who also got a hard time while doing it. They had to do what they didn’t want to. Their upperclassmen got angry with them. I understood that’s a way to bring and make them into a good persons who can face harder things in the future.
Nakamatachi-About my friends, they’re kind enough. I’m telling the truth. I’m a very quiet type person in my class. A very very very quiet one. I don’t talk much. Maybe they think I will talk just when needed. I’d rather stay and draw in the class or go to the mosque and stay a little longer there than go downstairs and look for food with my friends. Well, I wasn’t too close with my classmates. I always wanted to enjoy laughing with them, I wanted to join them, I wanted to be a part of them, but I didn’t know, somehow, I just can’t. But now, I have some friends, who care enough for me.
The lessons here, you can say, they’re very hard. Very. Some teacher even gave us homework without explaining them before, or they explained them very fast. I took this with a cold head. ‘This is how university will be. They’re harder than this.’. Then I followed them seriously, but still I didn’t get them. I got frustrated first and even more frustrated when I came home.
Nakushita shimatta-I’m feeling so exhausted. ‘I can’t stand this anymore’. Everytime I got home, I would always cry on my mother’s lap, causing me to have a very tired and swollen eyes the next morning-thank God I could always hide it under my glasses so no one would know-. I told her whatever happened that day. What did the teacher taught in the class. What I feel when I was in the class. What things that I can’t carry on my shoulder, what happened between my friends-I always and will always keep an eye on them-, and many things I wanted to share with her.
Naze?-Soon, negative thinking came to my mind. I’ve never felt this way before. What can I do there? I’m nothing more than a nothing there. I even thought, what’s the reason why I am alive. I felt so down. I asked my mother to transfer to another school, but then she talked to me to wait and stay.
Hashiridashita-I run. Yes, the only thing I did is just run away, never be brave to face them. Always feel down on my mind. Negative thinking and feeling alone. I was blind. I was too afraid. I was.
Everytime I tell her my stories, she would just listen and pay her full attention to me. Then she gave me some advices and what I have to do next time if I face them again. I would argue with them, saying that I’m stupid or anything, and she told me, there’s a sky above the sky. She knew what I was feeling. I said that I’m no match for them, I can’t survive in my class. But then she shut me up.
She said,”Somehow you will, for sure.”
That’s only a sentence. A sentence that changes everything.
Now, I’ve been close to the others in my class. I learned to face them. I learned to be brave when I fail. I learned to be a strong girl. And also I learned to accept what happened. I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve changed my impression towards my school. They don’t mean to make you feel tired or exhausted. They don’t mean to give you a lot of tasks so that you can’t have enough time to play. No, they don’t mean that all. They teach you how to be a strong human to be able to be success in the future. They teach you that life’s hard, and you have to work hard and give all you have to reach what you want to reach. Anything has its own reason. Never judge a book only from its cover.
Because everything isn’t as bad as it seems.